Normal Relationship vs Dysfunctional vs Abusive

NORMAL RELATIONSHIP

 

Sue’s Parents, illustrate a normal relationship. In the stories she is a teacher and he is a preacher. 

In a normal relationship the Upper Natures are cheerful and ready to help the other feel good. Her Ant and Bee conspire with Geru to make sure they see how her partner is fairing from a Bird’s eye view so she can nurture if need be. Also her Love for him helps calm the natural fears women have of men. She patiently stands by waiting to go into action if need be. Both see the necessity of equality between the sexes and the powerful role of unconditional love.

Men are more about actions. His Ant and Bee may not be as aware of her emotional world but he try’s to get that bird’s eye view and his fear worries about her fear, he is alert to make sure she feels safe with him.

DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP

DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP 

Charlotte’s parents illustrate a dysfunctional relationship. In the stories he is a tavern owner and and a bit paranoid, she is a histrionic model. Histrionics can be perfectionist and shallow thinkers. 

Both parties do not take the time to perceive the other in an objective way. Their fears close down their love. They tend to leap before they think. So they may not be very patient even if their strategy is to say nothing. They consciously and subconsciously are repulsed by each other’s behaviors.

Their Lower Natures are more active than their Upper Natures so they give permission to themselves to judge, feel hurt, blame, and act accordingly. 

Larry’s Dad and mother, from the stories, represent an abusive relationship. His is the rich mayor of the city. He gained his wealth by stealing her land. He divorced her and by hook or by crook he has custody of Larry and threatens to take away Larry’s little sister. He is a psychopath bully in all sense of the word. You may note that his Upper Nature does not have a Cuddles’ heart nor a Macho fear. This is what can make a person dangerous, they have no empathy and not fear. So if they were abused as a child and have not came to terms with it and therefor are impulsive they will do what ever they want when they want if they think they can get away with it.

You can see from her Upper Nature that she is observant, but her healthy love is pinned down by her fear of him. She has to be very patient, Turtle, so she will do little action,Rabbit. Her but she herself is frozen with fear. She has no choice to use her Alter Ego, Dragon, to fight back.

He on the other hand is in full pursuit to bully and control her. HIs Lower Nature is large and aggression oriented.