Conversations Normal or Not Normal

Normal Conversation

A normal conversation is like a volleyball game.  A very friendly game that is just for fun and not competition would go similar to the picture above. You would start by sending the ball, or phrase, with a familiar greeting that fits the immediate situation.

If it’s a routine situation and your perceptive widget may say, ‘Hi, how are you?’

Their perceptive widget would reply, ‘Fine, and you?’ 

The ball would go to the next phase and your fear would not be great so it would prompt your caring emotions to say something that indicates you trust and care about them. Their caring widget would  answer in like manner and direct the ball to your next phase of thinking or sharing wisdom that would allow elaboration or response from them.

In the picture Cuddles says ‘We should do something more.’ Then their caring widget would agree if free and reply and then send the ball to Rabbit who asks what you want to do, like go get a soda, to continue the conversation in a different situation. 

Their Rabbit would agree or not and that conversation is over, the ball is dropped and off the two of you go.

Conversations That Don’t Go Well

If we do not keep our widgets balanced in conversation with Conscious Choice, then there is no referee, we can bore our listener.  If we talk too much from only our perspective they get bored. Or if we only talk about what we love and dominate the conversation, again they get bored. Or we may talk about our views as if they are the only ones worth talking about. Our listener will get incensed. And if we insist everything said is only about what we want to do they really get discouraged.

If we then let our Lower Nature take over, by getting defensive, we will stretch the truth, selfishly ignore them, give biased opinions, and may even bully them by not letting them talk or challenge their integrity. We will smash the conversation into them and begin to scare them. Their fear will go up and summons their own Lower Nature to fight you back.

Then the fight is on. The referees will be Dragons of our unconscious or conscious problems. If we enjoy enjoy it something is wrong with our thinking.