Normal Relationships Vs Toxic Relationships

NORMAL VS TOXIC REMATIONSHIPS

Normal Relationships Are More Complex But Seem Simpler Because They Are Smoother

The easiest relationships are between two average or above average personalities with little or no cognitive or emotional disabilities or disorders. Sue’s mother and father are in the normal average category. If they can stay in their Upper Nature, 85% of the brain which is calmer and altruistic, and avoid the Lower Nature survival mode or freeze, flight, or fight they have an excellent change of a long lasting and happy productive relationship.

In a good relationship both parties check daily to make sure the other person is happy and relaxed and in their Upper Nature by perceiving their physical and mental health have not changed for the worse. Then there are less shocking surprise crises by having lost track of the well being of the relationship before it is too late to make easy changes. The less we know over a longer time the less we know how to prevent or help misunderstanding.

 

Early communication, of things going wrong in the relationship and uncomfortable emotions, makes it easier to deal with problems before they blow up into insecurities, anger, doubts, and seemingly insurmountable complicated and intangible hurts.

The heart, or love emotions, are crucial to a healthy relationship. Without love a relationship is a chore. It is the glue to togetherness and helps us tolerate other’s otherwise irritating glitches. Love can calm irrational fears.

Belief and philosophies can help us to focus love in the right direction and to the right people. We need a philosophy that sees others in a good light but can still recognize dangers. Religions are geared for moral behavior,  scientific studies on relationships, and even models like the one I show on this web sight, help us see what is going wrong. The more we perceive reality and understand others the better we can make our relationships work.

Once we understand and respect each other the easier it is to play together and other activities without problems.

Fears, from faulty perceptions, childhood and other traumas, faulty beliefs, and lack of sleep, head injury, or substance abuse, can cause a lot of paranoia and anxiety that can throw us into our Lower Nature and exaggerates it’s affects on us, tempting us with lies, selfishness, irrationalities that blame others, and anti-relationship behaviors. Ragde’s father has a lot of paranoia. When his paranoia is too strong it drags his Upper Nature to perceive, feel, think, and act as if there is danger. His Lower Nature gets larger and leads him to get angry. Ragde’s mother is a bit histrionic, she ignore a lot of his paranoia and does not give it much credibility. Their relationship is not the greatest but not the worst.

Larry’s Dad is the richest, most powerful and scary person in the Town. There is no stopping him without the Town deciding not to back him, not to buy his products, and to legally oppose him. They are mostly afraid of his power and do not see his vulnerabilities that could result from their collective actions. He is also psychopathic.

Psychopathic basically is a lack of empathy, a perception and belief that fair and moral behavior is not needed, and a driving impulsiveness that in not stoped by love or fears. Therefore his greed for money and power has no boundaries other than a potential limit to resources, such as enforceable legal restrictions or lack of customers. He does not have a relationship. It’s more of an arrangement for him and a nightmare for her. He took all of her resources and controls her by intimidating officials to get custody of Larry and threaten the same with BJ, their daughter and Larry’s little sister.  Larry loves his mom and sister but to protect them he stays with his dad so his dad does not take custody of BJ.